my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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