you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
