i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
my sisters under your porch take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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