Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
