thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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