Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
