Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
