she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
