Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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