I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
