His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
