You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
