god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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