Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
