I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize