Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
