just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
