make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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