So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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