You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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