Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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