If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
