my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The best revenge is premature balding
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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