literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
