please come you make the beer taste better
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Mom said you looked used
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
