We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
