We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize