those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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