i think my tv is drunk
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
