is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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