he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
