Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
