True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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