I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
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The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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