You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
