Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
