haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
