Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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