Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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