dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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