I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I looked at my own cervix.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
