I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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