that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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