i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I take back everything I said about communal showers
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
