I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
