I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
