hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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