whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
