Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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