You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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