He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
