Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
