Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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