please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
