I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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