Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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