if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
thus making me awesome and them whores
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
home. puking in laundry basket.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
