Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
