how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
