I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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