just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I want a musical about memes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
