I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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