Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
