we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
